If you haven’t already heard, it’s a girl. Learning the sex of our baby-to-be has, I think, really caused the news to sink-in for a lot of people. Whereas most were congratulatory but otherwise quiet about the big news, once they found out the sex they suddenly got excited. As the news spreads, the amount of advice increases. That’s fine, of course. I like advice.

Speaking of advice, here is an email and video which my mom sent to me last week:

Jimmy – watch the whole thing…. start teaching Ada NOW..

Love you

Mom

Assuming its true, or at least mostly true, it’s an interesting video. Personally, if I’m going to ask “what does it all mean” then I might as well go all out. Every so often, I like to entertain various visions of the future. Lately I’ve been drawn to the concept of sentient computing and the potential eventuality of being able to “upload” one’s consciousness into a computer.

So this was my response to my mom’s email (links added for this blog entry):

No worries. By the time Ada is my age, we’ll be uploading our brains into computers and terminating our physical bodies, considering them to be a waste of environmental resources.

Perhaps one day the physical media we "live" on or even the entire Earth will be destroyed. It won't be a problem; our martian backup system will detect the destruction and restore society within a matter of seconds. Most "people" would never even know it happened. Humanity will have achieved their own from of everlasting life in “Heaven” but there will still be much to do and to learn.

After a few million years, Ada will be one among the oldest and wisest consciousnesses in the universe. Her mind and the mind of her generation – the last truly human generation – will have evolved so far and gained so much intellectual power that if the people of today were to meet such a being, we would worship it as a God or simply fail to recognize it altogether. Within this network of intellects our little Ada will still exist, and she will remember us perfectly. Though we will be dead, she will be able to conjure us up so readily and with such clarity that she will never have to miss us.

Eventually Ada and her peers will have the mission of evacuating Mars before it is destroyed by our dieing sun. At that time, a swarm of computers will be launched into space, each one no larger than a spec of dust, and form a Cloud of consciousness that floats upon the vastness of space.

An eternity will pass.

Finally, the Cloud will have grown so old and so wise and have learned everything there is to learn and attained everything there is to attain and have no purpose left but to exist. It will decide to conclude its "life" for the simple reason that in having everything, there is nothing. Perhaps it will reminisce on the evolution of humans and computers that brought its self into being. What was Ada in her human form, what was you and I, even this email, will all seem to exist in its entirety for just a moment. And then we'll be gone, never to be thought of again.

Nearly ready to disperse its self and end its existence, some small part of the Cloud – the part of this cloud which originated from Ada – will object. Using a means of communication that you nor I nor anyone that will live in the next billion years can comprehend, Ada in the Cloud will put forth an idea.

Ada will suggest that the Cloud not be destroyed, but instead that it be reborn. Ada will argue that conscious beings once had the hope of attaining Heaven; that experiences like love, hate, satisfaction, and dissolution used to occur all the time! That such feelings had in fact led humanity to Heaven by giving birth to the very reality which Ada is a part of. She will ask: If in attaining Heaven, Heaven can no longer be attained then what better to do than give birth to the reality we once knew and with it, the purpose we once had?

The laws of physics, which had not bound Ada or her kind for an eternity, will be programmed into the Cloud. A simulation of the physical universe will begin. Ada and the singular Cloud consciousness she was a part of, will end. Just prior to being winked out of existence, Ada will muse that this must have all happened before.

An eternity will pass.

Within the Cloud's simulated universe, galaxies and stars and planets will all form. Life will arise, followed long after by intelligent life. Intelligent life will develop emotions like love, hate, satisfaction, and dissolution. They will never truly know of the Cloud which they are a part of, and yet they will one day create it.

So like I said… no worries. Ada's education will be so good, that she will eventually become omniscient and give birth to the universe after having lived for an eternity. I will consider it my fatherly duty to see to it that she is one of the first to upload her brain into a computer and to make copious and frequent backups. And to be on the safe side, I’ll do my best to prevent her from terminating her physical body even though all of her friends are doing it; I’m not afraid to show tough love.

If you haven't heard already, I'm going to be a daddy. Of course, all kinds of thing have been going through my head lately. A common rumination is my own childhood, especially moments I remember as tipping points.

One of my earliest memories is my first lie. I think I was right around two years old at the time, maybe even slightly younger. I had broken a lamp while playing alone, my mom asleep in another room. The commotion woke her up. She came in, saw the lamp, and asked if I had broken it. I remember looking at her and being a little surprised she hadn't simply accused me of breaking the lamp. The word "yes" was on the tip of my tongue about to pass through my lips when I realized that I didn't have to say yes – I could say no!

So I said, "no." My mom shrugged her shoulders, muttered something to the effect of "it must have been the dog" and proceeded to clean up the mess. I stood there shocked that I was in no trouble whatsoever.

Up until that moment, it had never occurred to my simple mind that words could be used this way. I was certain at that point that I had discovered some sort of magical power. I remember deciding in that moment to use this exciting new concept to get out of all sorts of future trouble. Though I don't have any specific recollections of lying after that, my mom has assured me that for a period of about six months in my early child hood I hardly told the truth at all. I event tested this new concept to the point of misbehaving right in front of my mother and then proclaiming "it wasn't me!" I can't say it fooled her.

Of course, I eventually learned the value of telling the truth.

I look forward to my child's first lie. I look forward to discovering my reaction to it.

My mom is, aside from an exceptional gift giver, a lover of history and culture. So this Valentine’s Day I gave my mom a different sort of gift. I had someone in India call her – from India – to give her a history lesson on the history of Valentines Day in India and it’s impact on India’s culture.

 

What followed was a very happy mother and some fascinating information about India and the somewhat controversial celebration of Valentines Day there.

 

Now that I’ve read through the research that was done for my mother’s gift, I thought I’d share some of the tidbits I found most interesting:

 

• About 10 years ago, Valentines Day was dubbed as “another decadent influence of the west” and written-off by most. However, today Valentines Day is widely recognized and celebrated.
• A big influence on the success of Valentines Day in India was the globalization-fueled economic boom which brought with it foreign television channels that often aired Valentines Day specials.
• Weeks before Valentine’s Day, “Street Romeos” appear everywhere, reenacting Bollywood style boy-meets-girl stories.
• Protests against Valentine’s Day customs have included stealing Valentine’s Day greeting cards from and ceremonially burning them as well as threats to beat the faces and shave the heads of those who participate.

I have hated holiday shopping for years for one simple reason: Pretty much everyone, myself included, already has what they want (e.g. an iPod) or they want something too expensive (e.g. a big screen TV).

 

My mother, on the other hand, loves holiday shopping; probably because she is so good at it. Since I can remember, every year my mother has managed to get something for me that I loved but had absolutely no idea that I wanted. She not only does this for me, but for many others as well. She is the master.

 

Unfortunately, my mother has yet to share the secret with me. However this year I think I’ve managed to reverse engineer her process.

 

So how does one come up with gifts people will love? First, there are a few basic rules:

 

• The gift must be non-obvious. Last year my mom got me a bottle capper and glass bottles for my home brewery. Though it may seem like an obvious gift, it had – for some reason – never occurred to me to ditch the soda bottles and use real beer bottles.
• The gift must be fun. Two years ago I wanted nothing more than to master the art of software development, so all I asked for was a long list of books and software. My mom got me heelys instead. It was the perfect gift to introduce some silly into my otherwise too serious wish-list.
• The gift should be meaningful. Three years ago my mom got me a bunch of piano music with guitar accompaniment parts. I hadn’t played the piano for a long time and had never played the guitar, so I was a bit confused until my stepfather opened his gift: A guitar. He hadn’t played guitar in years. We opened the music books and played a couple of songs so poorly that they were hardly recognizable. We also had an amazingly good time.

Now that we have a few simple rules to go by, how does one find these unique, fun, meaningful gifts? Here’s how: Make a list of interesting and creative gifts without anyone in mind, then use free-association to determine who should get what.

 

I make it a point to carry a pen and mini-notebook wherever I go. I normally use it to track to-do items, but it’s good for just about anything requiring pen and paper. Any time I come across something especially interesting, I jot it down in the back of my notebook. If I forget my notebook, I email myself by sending a text message to my GMail account.

 

That’s it. That’s the technique.

 

It’s pretty simple, but I think it will end up being rather effective. In case you’re daunted by the task of writing things down, or you’re just plain lazy, I’ll go ahead and share my top ten favorite gift ideas:

 

#10 – Countertop Composter

 

For the windowsill gardener on your list or the environmentally obsessed. These handy little devices compost food to make small amounts of fertile soil, cut down on waste, and supposedly don’t stink at all.

 

#9 – Brush and Rinse Toothbrush

 

A nifty toothbrush design that makes rinsing after you brush your teeth even easier. A good stocking-stuffer for someone who appreciates a clever invention, or a kid who likes to play in the sink.

 

 

#8 – A Mac

 

Though I tend to be a PC guy, I’m not afraid to tell you that Macs are awesome. If you know someone that has a lot of computer problems, thinks they are too complicated or too ugly then get them a Mac. Macs “just work.” I love my iMac – I use it for most of my computing tasks (email, blogging, video editing, etc.) and only switch to my Windows PC to do programming (though I’m learning to program on the Mac).

 

#7 – Home Brewery

 

I started home-brewing beer in September of last year when I bought the Mr. Beer kit as a house-warming gift for myself. Since then I’ve made several batches that taste way better than grocery-store beer, and the beer has more alcohol too! Perfect for the man who once had a six pack but now has a keg.

 

#6- An e-commerce site

 

Simple e-commerce sites are easy to put together, fun to manage, and can even make you some money. If you know someone with a marketable hobby, get them setup with their own online shop! Don’t be daunted if you are non-technical; there are plenty of “one stop shops” that can do it for you, including myself.

 

#5 – Miracle Fruit

 

Miracle what? Fruit. Here’s how it works: You eat the fruit then, for the next 30 to 90 minutes, everything that’s bitter or sour tastes as sweet as candy. The novelty of this item make it a good gift for practically anyone.

 

 

#4 – A Freevo

 

Why get a TiVo when you can get a Freevo? Based on 100% free software, all you need to spring for is the hardware. Additionally, whoever is lucky enough to receive this gift will be spared the monthly expense. Complete instructions for building the system are online.

 

#3 – A Kindle

 

For the reading enthusiast (e.g. the guy with nothing but books on his list) I don’t think there’s a better gadget available. A reading enthusiast myself, I’ve already asked the internet for one. This thing has a paper-like display, lets you download books from anywhere, and is just plain cool.

 

#2 – An Indoor Garden Kit

 

I saw this on TV a few days ago and thought it was a great idea! A simple little hydroponic garden that let’s you grow herbs, lettuces, berries, and pretty much anything else you want with near complete automation. It’s good for people with limited (or no) yard space as well as gardening enthusiasts that want an easy way to seed or make cuttings of their plants.

 

 

#1 – XO Laptop

 

This amazing device is perfect for kids and nerdy adults. Way too many features to list, it only costs about $200. Through the give one, get one program you can not only get a good gift, but help a child receive an education. Not a bad idea.

 

What techniques do you have for finding the “perfect” gift? Would anyone out there care to share a list of their own?