This article was originally published in April 2008, anonymously on a friend’s website. It generated hundreds of comments and tens of thousands of visitors (mostly from reddit). The website it was published on is now defunct, so I thought I’d re-post the article here on my blog.

Enjoy…

When I was in elementary school, during the “Just Say No” days, I remember hearing about drugs and being utterly confounded by the message. If drugs are so bad, I thought, why the heck (I didn’t say hell - it was a bad word) did so many people risk their lives just to get high? Something didn’t make sense.

In sixth grade, I was confronted with marijuana for the first time when a friend of mine tried it. Still believing the propaganda, I was very concerned and nearly turned him in “for his own good.” After all, he couldn’t be thinking straight… could he? Well, yes, he could. Contrary to my expectations, my friend was perfectly happy, did well in school, and did not start hanging out with the wrong crowd. Something didn’t make sense.

In high school, things started to get heavier. People I knew were not just smoking pot; they were snorting coke, dropping acid, and more. Being the straight kid, I even acted as a trip sitter on a few occasions.

Finally, I saw some of the negative impacts drugs could have. Of course, the reality of the negative impacts were nothing compared to what anti-drug propaganda would have had me expect. Upon smoking pot, eating shrooms, rolling on X, or whatever - none of my friends went crazy, had their life destroyed, or any such nonsense. The vast majority of the time, all they got was a good time.

Things started to make sense. Kids do drugs because they realize that adults have lied to them about it. If they are to discover the truth, they have only one course of action: Do drugs.

Yesterday I heard a story on NPR in which children were asked what they thought about drugs. Each child parroted back, with conviction, all the same false information I believed at their age. They said things like “you’ll die” and “you’ll lose all your friends.”

What will these kids do when they find out it’s not true? Drugs. When it is discovered first-hand that drugs aren’t so bad what, then, will these kids do? More drugs.

Duh.

Don’t get me wrong. I did see a few who “crossed the line” and actually abused drugs. However these kids had a lot of problems, drugs being only one of them. Unfortunately for them, the stigma of drug use would prevent them from seeking help even after they realized they had a problem. Making matters worse, “help” would often put the focus of treatment in the wrong place; they were treated for drug use when the focus should have been more holistic. Even if they got sober, they still tended to be depressed and self-abusive - just without drugs.

So what is the War on Drugs really accomplishing? Or, rather, is it being waged effectively?

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If you haven’t already heard, it’s a girl. Learning the sex of our baby-to-be has, I think, really caused the news to sink-in for a lot of people. Whereas most were congratulatory but otherwise quiet about the big news, once they found out the sex they suddenly got excited. As the news spreads, the amount of advice increases. That’s fine, of course. I like advice.

Speaking of advice, here is an email and video which my mom sent to me last week:

Jimmy – watch the whole thing…. start teaching Ada NOW..

Love you

Mom

Assuming its true, or at least mostly true, it’s an interesting video. Personally, if I’m going to ask “what does it all mean” then I might as well go all out. Every so often, I like to entertain various visions of the future. Lately I’ve been drawn to the concept of sentient computing and the potential eventuality of being able to “upload” one’s consciousness into a computer.

So this was my response to my mom’s email (links added for this blog entry):

No worries. By the time Ada is my age, we’ll be uploading our brains into computers and terminating our physical bodies, considering them to be a waste of environmental resources.

Perhaps one day the physical media we "live" on or even the entire Earth will be destroyed. It won't be a problem; our martian backup system will detect the destruction and restore society within a matter of seconds. Most "people" would never even know it happened. Humanity will have achieved their own from of everlasting life in “Heaven” but there will still be much to do and to learn.

After a few million years, Ada will be one among the oldest and wisest consciousnesses in the universe. Her mind and the mind of her generation – the last truly human generation – will have evolved so far and gained so much intellectual power that if the people of today were to meet such a being, we would worship it as a God or simply fail to recognize it altogether. Within this network of intellects our little Ada will still exist, and she will remember us perfectly. Though we will be dead, she will be able to conjure us up so readily and with such clarity that she will never have to miss us.

Eventually Ada and her peers will have the mission of evacuating Mars before it is destroyed by our dieing sun. At that time, a swarm of computers will be launched into space, each one no larger than a spec of dust, and form a Cloud of consciousness that floats upon the vastness of space.

An eternity will pass.

Finally, the Cloud will have grown so old and so wise and have learned everything there is to learn and attained everything there is to attain and have no purpose left but to exist. It will decide to conclude its "life" for the simple reason that in having everything, there is nothing. Perhaps it will reminisce on the evolution of humans and computers that brought its self into being. What was Ada in her human form, what was you and I, even this email, will all seem to exist in its entirety for just a moment. And then we'll be gone, never to be thought of again.

Nearly ready to disperse its self and end its existence, some small part of the Cloud – the part of this cloud which originated from Ada – will object. Using a means of communication that you nor I nor anyone that will live in the next billion years can comprehend, Ada in the Cloud will put forth an idea.

Ada will suggest that the Cloud not be destroyed, but instead that it be reborn. Ada will argue that conscious beings once had the hope of attaining Heaven; that experiences like love, hate, satisfaction, and dissolution used to occur all the time! That such feelings had in fact led humanity to Heaven by giving birth to the very reality which Ada is a part of. She will ask: If in attaining Heaven, Heaven can no longer be attained then what better to do than give birth to the reality we once knew and with it, the purpose we once had?

The laws of physics, which had not bound Ada or her kind for an eternity, will be programmed into the Cloud. A simulation of the physical universe will begin. Ada and the singular Cloud consciousness she was a part of, will end. Just prior to being winked out of existence, Ada will muse that this must have all happened before.

An eternity will pass.

Within the Cloud's simulated universe, galaxies and stars and planets will all form. Life will arise, followed long after by intelligent life. Intelligent life will develop emotions like love, hate, satisfaction, and dissolution. They will never truly know of the Cloud which they are a part of, and yet they will one day create it.

So like I said… no worries. Ada's education will be so good, that she will eventually become omniscient and give birth to the universe after having lived for an eternity. I will consider it my fatherly duty to see to it that she is one of the first to upload her brain into a computer and to make copious and frequent backups. And to be on the safe side, I’ll do my best to prevent her from terminating her physical body even though all of her friends are doing it; I’m not afraid to show tough love.

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If you haven't heard already, I'm going to be a daddy. Of course, all kinds of thing have been going through my head lately. A common rumination is my own childhood, especially moments I remember as tipping points.

One of my earliest memories is my first lie. I think I was right around two years old at the time, maybe even slightly younger. I had broken a lamp while playing alone, my mom asleep in another room. The commotion woke her up. She came in, saw the lamp, and asked if I had broken it. I remember looking at her and being a little surprised she hadn't simply accused me of breaking the lamp. The word "yes" was on the tip of my tongue about to pass through my lips when I realized that I didn't have to say yes – I could say no!

So I said, "no." My mom shrugged her shoulders, muttered something to the effect of "it must have been the dog" and proceeded to clean up the mess. I stood there shocked that I was in no trouble whatsoever.

Up until that moment, it had never occurred to my simple mind that words could be used this way. I was certain at that point that I had discovered some sort of magical power. I remember deciding in that moment to use this exciting new concept to get out of all sorts of future trouble. Though I don't have any specific recollections of lying after that, my mom has assured me that for a period of about six months in my early child hood I hardly told the truth at all. I event tested this new concept to the point of misbehaving right in front of my mother and then proclaiming "it wasn't me!" I can't say it fooled her.

Of course, I eventually learned the value of telling the truth.

I look forward to my child's first lie. I look forward to discovering my reaction to it.

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Last year I wrote Creative Gift Ideas, a How-To Guide to introduce a simple technique of using note taking and free-association for finding that "perfect" gift. To my surprised, that article started ranking well on Google for searches like creative gift ideas, creative gift ideas to make, and creative gift ideas for mom. In fact, those three phrases now drive more traffic to my site than people looking for James Tharpe.

This year I modified my technique slightly and started using Google Notebook instead of a real notebook. Most of my ideas come from the internet and pressing the clip button is much easier than digging around for a pen. Aside from that, the technique hasn't really changed.

So what ideas did I come up with this year? Here are my top five:

#5 – SpokePOV

This thing is just plain neat. It is a kit that allows you to design an image to be displayed on your bike wheels as you ride. The picture speaks for its self:

#4 – Fly Stick Van de Graaff Levitation Wand

Just add two AA batteries, and you get this magical thingamabob:

#3 – Miniyou

Step 1: Choose a body.

Step 2: Choose a picture.

Step 3: Recieve a bobble head that looks like you!

#2 – DNA Art

A uniquely personal present. Send off some DNA and a few hundred dollars, and get a work of art in return!

#1 – Genographic Project Participation Kit

Speaking of DNA… Wondering about your family tree? The Genographic participation kit lets you send off your DNA and discover your deep ancestry. I can't imagine a more interesting gift; it's the sort of thing that the recipient will remember for the rest of their life.

As always, please feel free to share your gift ideas and techniques for coming up with them in the comments!

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Today I played Spider-Man at Parties on Air for a kids 4th birthday party, just because I could. I had a great time. I got a little worried when I walked in and heard one of the kids say “I don’t think that’s Spider-Man, I think that’s a real man.” But she seemed quite convinced when I handed her a spidey-mask a few minutes later.

After handing out paper Spider-Man masks and gift bags, I sat in on the special Spider-Man throne that had been setup. The kids were fascinated but afraid to approach. My wife overheard the birthday-boy say to one of his friends, “Be brave! Go meet Spider-Man! Be brave!”. I think he was talking to the same kid that later came up to me, gave me a high five, then ran like hell.

One of the girls working at the venue asked if the costume was comfortable. I told her it was more comfortable than the suit I normally wear to work. “What do you normally wear?” she asked; “a suit,” I said; she looked surprised and asked, “oh so you do this for a living?”

Later I gave a demo of Spider-Man’s web-slinging abilities. While setting up, a kid from a different party came running up to me shouting “Hey Spider-Man! Remember when you came to my birthday party?” His mom stood behind him biting her lip and nodding yes with a worried look on her face. So I told him “of course I do!” to which he replied “I think you got taller!”

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